A honest and vulnerable share. On the road
I’ve have been dreading writing this post however it’s been impressed upon my heart and it goes against my pride and flesh. I can post about all the joys and blessings of what God has done in my life but it’s also difficult, uncertain and lonely at times. To my flesh, I deeply desire comfort and to know where I am going. However how does one walk by faith and not by sight if you always know where you are heading. How can God surprise you with His miracles and allow the unfolding of His plans. For He delights in our faith.
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:9
I have realised it is radical to follow Him, to lead a surrendered life and leave all the comforts I once had in the world. All the things that gave me security; the job, the home, groups of friends, my car and being near family… I have left it all behind. However by faith, He has made all things possible and the biggest joy in my life is seeing people come to Jesus and have their own relationship. Just seeing them find incredible peace and love found in no other name makes my soul sing.
I’ve been travelling for over a year now, following His calling He has placed when I was saved. “Your salvation is not your own”… He whispered in my spirit. “I will take you to another coast to be ‘fishers of men’”.
“He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.” Mark 16:15
With a leap of faith He has taken me to the US, Mexico, Greece, Spain, Portugal, UK, France and the journey still continues. The longest time I was able to be in one place was my time in London and it was a great opportunity to preach the gospel on the streets as people came from all over the world. Now heading to Germany to help baptise a young woman I have been witnessing to and has recently come out of the new age . I praise the Lord how He has orchestrated this and it is a testimony in itself.
I do love leading the surrendered life. The people I’ve met, healings, deliverance, fellowship, sharing the love of Jesus. There are so many countless testimonies, which I have included in some of my previous posts. Even in the face of uncertainty and loneliness, I wouldn’t trade it in for the world.
However behind the scenes, I have been managing on £50 a week on average for over a year now . I know this may come as a surprise as it appears I live abundantly in which I do as all good things come from God. I know this scares people on how I have been living, the uncertainty and not having a home. He has definitely humbled me. I have been doing exchange opportunities for food and accommodation during my travels and have been provided for in this way generously. He has taken me to the most unique places, into the most unexpected homes, meeting people I wouldn’t usually come across. So life has been abundant, more than I can ever afford if I did it on my own. Of course I am witnessing to everyone I have come across, sharing the gospel and my testimony to those who will listen.
I gave up everything to follow Him and it was worth it. All I own is in my backpack which has my clothes, books, my laptop, my phone, passport and my beloved bible. It’s radical, leading a surrendered life. Going from town to town, country to country; witnessing, discipling, edifying, evangelising, sowing and watering seeds. I admit it can be quite tiring labouring in the harvest; encountering triggered reactions and at times painful rejection of the gospel. I have been detained twice and like Paul I was able to share my testimony for His glory in these situations. In my flesh it is exhausting but in the spirit, He fuels me and provides the needed grace and patience.
“Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?” Matthew 16:24-26
I have no worldly ‘security’, no belongings, no actual home. All that I have is in Him; He is my entire security and source of provision; literally the Luke 10 life: “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.” Luke 10:2
“When you enter a town and are welcomed, eat what is offered to you. Heal the sick who are there and tell them, ‘The kingdom of God has come near to you.’” Luke 10:8-9
I once had a life with a new age business and a team, all the “security” I thought that would keep me safe, a storage unit of belongings, friends from the new age, a house near the beach watching the surfers and the waves, a 4wd car where I can go camping into the bush. I was pretty comfortable. When I became saved, I traded in my tantric career and got a Christian job, went to a lovely church and had a spiritual mother nearby who was so supportive. I was settled. There was no way I was going anywhere!
However God commanded and impressed upon me to leave Australia. I resisted His call and fought it until it became unbearable. I was afraid as it was during covid with all the restrictions; all my anxious thoughts about “what would I do”, “where would I go”, “how would I live”, “what if I get stuck”… I knew it would cost me much. He finally hit me with scripture and I felt His conviction:
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
It was pretty evident. I was Jonah running away from Nivehah. For a whole week, it was roadblocks upon roadblocks, tulmoutous winds and storms. When I finally said “yes Lord, I’ll go”… everything flowed and blocks were removed. My car was sold the next day and a plane ticket was provided out in a few days.
I’m not a citizen to any of the countries I travel to but I take comfort that my citizenship is in heaven.
“So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone” Ephesians 2:19-20
Last year I wasn’t able to return to New Zealand due to quarantine restrictions and I found home wherever I went. God took me to where I needed to go and in His perfect way.
“Then a certain scribe came and said to Him, “Teacher, I will follow You wherever You go.” And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head.” Matthew 8:19-20
Truly... I relate to this verse so deeply, it cuts me to the heart how true this is for me. I do not know where I will rest my head at times. Yes it continually brings up fear and wanting to control my situation but I know I can always trust in Him and have been doing so for over a year. I have never been without accommodation except for one time in Greece where I camped on the beach, witnessed to several individuals and it worked out beautifully in the end. It always does. It intrigues people why I am travelling and it is a testimony and a miracle in itself. He would bring me to one place just to witness to one person for each soul is worthy, no matter the journey. He leaves the ninety-nine and goes after the lost.
I am now realising to grow and be more active, I am requiring extra resources. With my humble funds, I have been purchasing bibles, providing for those who are in need and using my expenses for travel between towns, and food and accommodation when I have to. If God has placed it on your heart to support this crazy travelling ministry and you have the means to, it would be greatly appreciated and is one way of showing support. PayPal: firstname.lastname@example.org. All support is appreciated, big or small. It will go far and wide and to those around me, and I can continue sharing the gospel to as many as possible and making disciples, offline and online. I am usually quite independent to ask for help and would gladly continue with getting by with what I have but I know this is a huge lesson in vulnerability and asking for further support.
“And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands, for my name’s sake, will receive a hundredfold and will inherit eternal life.” Matthew 19:29
“And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent.” John 17:3
Thank you if you’ve read this far! May His Grace abound, always and forever.